


His Eyes, His Laugh, Him.

by Constellations_andStardust



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Conner is slightly ooc rip, Deh - Freeform, Gay, M/M, dear evan hansen - Freeform, mentions of suicide kinda?, treebros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-04 00:30:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12157926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Constellations_andStardust/pseuds/Constellations_andStardust
Summary: Evan just wants his longtime crush to notice him. He just wants to be noticeable.That’s what Conner wants too





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One Evan didn't want to stand out. He didn't need to. He was perfectly fine sitting with Jared and being invisible. Although sometimes he wished he stood out more so Zoe Murphy, his longtime crush, could notice him. But, who would notice him? He was just Evan Hansen, the kid with severe social anxiety and a friend who won't even admit that they're friends. Evan thought about things like that a lot. All the time. He thought about them mostly when he was alone. Those thoughts were more intense as he laid on the ground, cradling his broken arm. In fact, he was so invested in these thoughts, that he didn't feel himself hitting someone until he was sprawled on the ground. “Watch it.” The voice of Conner Murphy growled. Evan didn't even bother getting up as he watched him walk away. He only got up when he saw Zoe approach him. “I'm sorry about my brother,” She started. “I saw him push you. You're Evan, right?” “Evan.” He repeated idiotically. “That's your name?” “Right sorry! Isn't that annoying when people do that?” He rambled. “Do what?” She questioned. “You said ‘Evan’ and then I said ‘Evan’ and it's annoying I'm sorry.” “You apologise a lot.” She pointed out. “I'm sorry - I mean - sorry.” She looked at him strangely, bid him farewell, and walked away. Evan wanted to hit himself in the face. He

 _hated_  apologising so much, but he couldn't break the habit. “I can't believe Zoe Murphy talked to you.” Jared said. “I-it wasn't talking, it was more of me a-apologising.” Jared slapped him gently on the shoulder. “Oh Hansen. When will you learn that ladies dig the whole innocent thing?” “I-it wasn't like that, s-she was just a-apologising for her brother pushing me.” He stammered, embarrassed. “It's a shame she's related to the resident creep.” “J-Jared! That's m-mean!” Jared shrugged. “It's the truth. Look, here he comes now.” Evan watched as Jared approached Conner, a smug look on his face. “Hey Conner, loving the new hair, it's very School shooter chic.” Conner glared at Jared. “Oh you're really funny Kleinman.” “J-Jared stop.” Begged Evan. Conner fixed his gaze on him and Evan noticed he had a section of brown in his left eye. “What do you want, Hansen?” Evan tried to hide behind the smaller male, but it didn't work. He saw Conner’s steely gaze soften, but it happened so quickly, Evan thought he'd imagined it. “You're such a freak, Conner.” Jared spat, backing away from the much taller boy, knocking Evan over on the process. “Some friend you've got.” Conner muttered, helping him up. “I-I'm sorry about him.” “How'd you break your arm?” Conner asked. “Oh - I - I fell out of a tree.” “That's gotta be the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard.” Evan didn't know how to respond, so he just shrugged awkwardly. “I guess?” “No one’s signed your cast either. Do you have a sharpie?” Evan nodded and handed him a sharpie. He took it and wrote ‘CONNER’ in big black letters. “There, now we can both pretend we have friends.” As Conner began to walk away, Evan panicked. “D-do you want to eat lunch. W-with me?” Conner looked at him and Evan was, yet again, speechless. It was his eyes, Evan decided, those blue eyes with the section of brown in the left one. “ Is this a prank?” He asked. Evan shook his head frantically. “N-no! I-I would never! I-I just thought it would be n-nice to eat lunch with each other!” Conner smiled slightly. “Sure. I'll eat lunch with you.” Evan nodded and began walking to class.


	2. Chapter 2

Conner had decided that Evan was adorable. Weird, but adorable. It made him feel bad for shoving him earlier. 

Evan was also easily flustered, which Conner took note of. 

“You like trees?” He asked. 

Evan nodded, slightly blushing. “Yea! T-there are so many kinds located in different areas of the w-world. You probably think it's weird, sorry.” 

“You apologise a lot.” He said. 

Evan blushed again and Conner wondered how much blood he must have to blush as many times as he does. 

“So, about you and Kleinman, you're friends right?” He asked. 

“K-kind of? Jared always says we're “family friends” I-I just go along with it.” 

Conner frowned. That's what Evan resorted himself to? A friend who won't even acknowledge him?

“Why don't you just ditch him?” 

Evan’s eyes widened, showing astonishment. 

“He doesn't s-say this, but Jared doesn't have a lot of f-friends. I think it's j-just me. B-but he's not so bad after a-awhile.” 

Conner thought he was too nice. People like Evan Hansen deserved better. Better friends at least. 

Conner had never thought like this. Never regretted being rude to someone or saying anything extreme. But being around someone as calming and unique as Evan made him think differently. It didn't miraculously cure him of his illnesses like in the movies, but it distracted him long enough to where he forgot he had them. 

“You deserve better.” He muttered as Evan waved at Jared. 

\--

Evan knew Jared and Conner disliked each other, but he wanted them to get along.   
“Since when do you sit with Donnie Darko?” Jared questioned, sitting across from him. 

“Don't c-call him that.”

Conner regarded Jared and continued eating. 

“I always knew my presence made others speechless.” Jared said smugly. 

Evan laughed slightly. Jared could be an ass, but Evan enjoyed his company. 

Evan heard Conner laugh too and he wanted to record the lovely sound. 

“Don't flatter yourself.” Conner joked. 

The bell rang and the boy’s exchanges ceases as they got ready to leave. 

“Wait, Hansen.” Conner called. 

Evan stopped. “Y-yea?”

“Here's my number. Text or call me later.” And then Conner was gone. 

As Evan watched him walk away, he couldn't help but think that Zoe was the wrong Murphy sibling to fall for.


	3. Chapter 3

After school, Evan walked into his house and saw that his mom had already left for work, leaving a note and Pizza money on the counter in the kitchen. Evan didn't mind though.

He knew his mom worked hard. Sometimes it bothered him, but mostly he was okay. He was just excited to text Conner. Which was odd because he didn't like texting that much. He didn't feel excited that often either, but here he was. He pulled out his phone and started typing.

 

**Hi Conner...it's Evan**

 

A few moments later, Conner texted back.

 

_Hey Evan, what's up?_

 

Evan didn't know how to answer. The only thing that was ‘up’ was his heart rate.

Evan just replied with a ‘nothing much, you?’

After the awkward greetings were over, Evan suggested 20 questions, which was cliche, but enjoyed.

 

_Alright Hansen, what's your favourite colour?_

 

Evan thought for a moment.

 

**Blue. What's yours?**

 

A ding sounded.

 

_Green_.

 

When the basic were gone, the conversation got deeper.

 

_Have you ever done drugs_?

 

**No**.

 

A few minutes passes.

 

_That’s a shame_. 

 

**Have you**?

 

_Yea_.

 

Evan wasn't surprised. There had been rumours, but Evan didn't know how true they were. Of course, his mom told him that there was always some truth to them.

 

**Oh**.

 

_Did you really fall_?

 

**What**?

 

_Did you really fall. From a tree_?

 

Evan didn't want to lie to Conner the way he had to everyone else. He trusted him, as wild as it sounded.

 

**No**

 

A few moments passed.

 

_What happened?_

 

Evan took a deep breath and typed his response.

 

**I let go.**

 

It took awhile for Conner to respond and Evan started to worry that he had scared him off. When the reply did finally come, it wasn't what Evan had expected.

 

_I've tried too_.

 

Evan began to think they were more alike than previously thought. He wasn't scared of Conner anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Conner didn't know what to think. It wasn't that he didn't think Evan couldn't be depressed, it was more like he was shocked that Evan, beautiful, wonderful, sweet, Evan Hansen who's favourite colour was blue, would try to kill himself. 

He decided to treat Evan the same. Like a person, not a wounded animal. Evan Hansen deserved better. 

And goddammit, Conner was going to show him that. 

He just had to figure out how to make it normal. 

If he could make it normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short on purpose btw


End file.
